I have been listening, on and off for a number of years, to Word of Mouth, with Michael Rosen, on Radio 4. I usually pick it up quite by accident as I am driving or when I preparing dinner. On 29-08-2024 – driving on the M11 – the subject matter on that day’s episode was: The words we use about getting older and why they matter.
Michael Rosen went on to discuss this topic with guest Dr Lucy Pollock – geriatrician, author of:
1. About getting older
2. The Golden Rule: lessons in living from a doctor of ageing
What followed was a conversation about how we talk to older people, which is a central tenet of all the Amelesia work: words matter more than ever when older people are ill, in the care of other people, when their self-esteem and sense of being are at a very low ebb.
Michael Rosen and Dr Pollock discussed:
- negative and patronising language such as:
- elderly
- old man
- old geezer
- grandpa
- indifferent language: such as:
- passed it
Dr Pollock says that if older people CHOOSE to use these words in reference to themselves, that’s ok. BUT it is NOT OK for others – for example, younger people and professionals such as doctors and nurses – to use such derogatory language to refer to older people.
The appropriateness of language: when and how it is acceptable: the same words can be both negative AND positive, depending on how and when they are used and WHO uses them with reference to whom and to what.
Dr Pollock says that context and culture are very important: how and where are these phrases/used and are they acceptable in those contexts? For example:
- ‘grandpa’ is a normal word for a child to use to call a grandparent but NOT OK for others, such as a doctor saying ‘how are we today grandpa?’ … in this context the word grandpa is patronising;
- older people: ok as a collective noun;
- ‘she had a fall’ and ‘she fell over’: two very different meanings/assumptions, where ‘she had a fall’ implies a passive role and an inevitability about the accident; BUT ‘she fell over’ implies that the lady might have fallen over because of hazards outside her control, such as loose tiles/flagstones;
- geriatric medicine is ok because it is used as a reference to a service BUT not good if used as negative reference to a ‘geriatric person’.
Words about ageing ‘really matter’. Negative words can have a negative impact even subliminally. Dr Lucy Pollock cites an American study led by Dr Becca Levy – professor of psychology and epidemiology at Yale – on the effect of language on the subconscious when words associated with ageing conditions were flashed on a screen outside the zone of focus so fast that they cannot be seen and yet they have negative impact on emotional reactions to such words, for example dementia and Alzheimer’s.
GETTING TO KNOW THE PERSON is vitally important in restoring a sense of self-worth which can be slashed by negative attitudes, on the part of medical practitioners and people in general, towards a person coming into hospital with a condition and who is found, also, to be living with dementia.
Dr Pollock cites one of her patients whose smile lit the room as soon as Dr Pollock showed any interest in her as a person without the mental and physical conditions: who was she? What had been her role in life before retiring?
‘I was a headmistress’
Was the proud reply. This simple act of interest restored dignity and self-worth where there had been despondency and self-pity. Here was not ‘a woman with dementia’ but a former headteacher who came into hospital ill with pneumonia, but recovering as a former educator with interesting life stories to tell to anyone willing to talk to her.